A Declaration of Independence


Because you have ruled in tyranny over me,

Because you have refused to be empty at all times,

Because you have consistently up-heaved my evenings,

Because you do not always get every dish clean,

As any good and decent dishwasher should.

I hereby declare my utter independence from you.

Now that I am free, I will never use your racks again.

I will let the dishes stay in the sink, mocking you.

I will cease vacillating over what detergent to buy.

I will use paper plates and cups to cause you to be jealous.

I will eat out more often to cause you to be lonely.

I will hire a maid to handle your incessant needs.

Eventually, I will replace you with a robot that not only cleans the dishes, but puts them away neatly in my cupboards.

I hereby declare myself completely and fully independent,


Kathleen E. Dunlap


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